2010 Resolution: Make more time for girlfriends

I've never really been much of a sentamentalist. I wouldn't call myself cold and uncaring, but I tend to not think much about the types of things most people feel very sentimental about. Birthdays and anniversaries have never been a big deal for me. I'm not that great about keeping in touch, even with the people I care most about. I have never been good at keeping a diary or a photo album full of fond memories. Not sure why.

In stark contrast with my own behavior, I admire the sentimentality of some of my girlfriends. With sentimentality comes thoughtfulness: scrap booking, organized photo albums, birthday cards sent on time, forwarded emails with sweet and cheerful messages, etc. Yet, while I enjoy these things to a certain extent, I'm somewhat indifferent about them. I'd be fine without them and might not even notice they were missing.

But there's just something about the girlfriends themselves that I can't live without. It's not the cards or the emails or the scrap books. It's the history. It's the sisterhood. It's the ability to pick up wherever we left off - whether weeks, months, or even years since we last spoke - and feel caught up and at peace.

All my girlfriends are smart and accomplished, each in her own way. I'm very fortunate. And I learn so much from each of them.

So as another year comes to an end, I'm making an early resolution to make more time to nurture my girlfriend relationships. It's sad to think that some of us spend more time networking with new business contacts than relaxing with those we already know and love. Gotta make it happen.

Coming from a woman who doesn't tend to be very sentimental, this blog post is bordering on soft and mushy. But I'm okay with it. There's nothing wrong with soft and mushy. Sometimes.

'Tis the Season...of Shopping?

Call me old fashioned, but, to me, this whole Black Friday shopping thing is madness.

I know, I know, some of the 'best' deals occur on BF, but any marketer will tell you that the inventory for the fabulous deals isn't as large as one might think.  The idea of Black Friday is to get the consumer in the door and upsell them on 'other' items (sometimes similar, sometimes not).

image c/o ConsumeristI spent the night with my family and after eating our Thanksgiving bounty and getting excited for my new little baby having time to play with her cousins, we were inundated with ad after ad, enticing us to get up at 3 am and wait in a line for some random item.

There are definitely some things I can use, including a new TV that I've been shopping for. But if the love of little kiddies is based on whether or not their aunts, parents and other relatives get them the robotic hamster this year, where has the whole notion of 'Tis the Season' gone?

I like what Nordstrom recently did - making a point to NOT decorate their stores until AFTER Thanksgiving.

My Saturday Night Date with...QVC

I've been on the hunt for a black purse for years. You may wonder, 'Um, hello...you can easily find a black satchel purse anywhere'. That's just it, I am uber picky, need a bag with grommets on the bottom (I hate putting a purse on the floor and it gets all scratched up) and big enough to carry my 12 inch Powerbook. OH, and I don't want to break the bank. So what's a gal to do?

 There I was. Flipping channels on Saturday night. In between watching the stomach surfing happening in my belly, something caught my eye. QVC was having a special anniversary episode with B. Makowsy bags. Before my eyes, a black leather satchel was on the screen. It was on sale, free shipping and not available in stores until May 2010. My curiosity was piqued.

Within minutes, the black bags began getting picked off, one by one. The quantity was decreasing and I caught myself dialing the number - the first time I purchased anything from a home shopping service - I felt like I was 80, but also empowered at the same time. Within minutes, I had my black satchel ordered and en route to me by early December. Here is the bag I settled on (I got it for even less than this current price, $189 including free shipping. Retail value $288, so they say).

I gotta say, I was impressed with the whole QVC experience. The on-air description + the web site content and videos of the product really make you feel informed. If I don't like my bag, I can easily return it, too.

I can easily see getting addicted to this style of shopping. Sitting on the couch, nibbling on some chips and bam, you've purchased a whole wardrobe. The purse segment was over and the jewelry was up next. I caught myself drooling over some pearls, but decided to change the channel as quickly as I could. I'll report back with my findings soon!

GirlFriendCircles Discount

Hey ladies!  After attending a Speed Friending event last week and speaking with Shasta, the founder of GirlFriendCircles, she's extending an offer to ALL Gals' Guide readers to join GirlFriendCircles for 50% off!  With the discount, a six month membership costs $2.50 a month.  It's like Black Friday...for your soul.  Use the code GALGIDE when signing up to apply the discount, and the code will only work until December 5, 2009.  This code is good for any city.  Happy Friending!

Homemade Cure for Dry Winter Skin

When cold winter whether wrecks havoc on you skin, even the heaviest moisturizers can fail to do the trick. Sometimes it seems no matter how much lotion you pile on – the itching and flakiness won’t quit. Instead of heading to the drugstore and spending more money looking for a cure, take a trip to your kitchen and whip up this mask. It’s a much cheaper alternative and it works beautifully.

Mix together the following ingredients into a small bowl. Use as a mild scrub over any dry spots and then let it sit on your skin for 10-15 minutes before washing off with cool water.

- ½ cup of plain oatmeal

- 1 tsp honey

- 1 tbsp olive oil

- 1 tbsp milk

- egg whites from one egg

*If you have vitamin E oil on hand, add a bit as well!

Make the Most of Your Money: Sign Up for a Health Care Spending Account

I just got a reminder from our company benefits manager that it’s open-enrollenment and  time to update my benefits for 2010, including how much I wanted to allocate for my health care spending account (also called a flexible spending account). Some companies offer these optional accounts as part of your benefits package.

 A Health Care Spending Account allows you to set aside a specific amount every year to use towards eligible health care expenses.  The total amount you budget for the year is divided among your pay periods, so an equal amount comes out each pay period. Your health care benefits provider can provide you with a list of eligible expenses.  I use my health care spending account for expenses related to prescriptions, deductibles, co-payments and deductibles at the doctor and dentist’s office, and even contact lenses, eyewear, and eye-care products like saline solution.

The BIG reason you should think about signing up for this benefit if it’s available where you work: the amount deducted from your paycheck each pay period is taken out PRE-TAX (including federal, state, and social security), so you maximize more of your own income, plus reduce your taxable income. And you’ve also budgeted for your health care expenses for the year, so it’s “money in the bank.” 

Here’s how to get started:

1. Review the list of eligible expenses for your benefits plan.
2. Review your medical expenses from last year.
3. Write down any additional eligible expenses you anticipate for the coming year.
4. Include at least money to cover your deductible expenditures.
5. Total it up to see what you’ll need for your health case spending account for the year.
6. Divide the total by the number of pay periods you have per year to see what will come out of your check per pay period.  Remember, this is pre-taxed, so you’re keeping more of what you earn (at least 25-30%, depending on your tax bracket).

One important thing to remember about health care savings accounts: USE IT or LOSE IT. At the end of the year, if you don’t use all the money in your health care savings account, you forfeit the money, so plan for the expenses carefully!

For more on health care spending accounts, Kiplinger.com has some great overviews, calculators, and information. 

Make a list to beat Scrooge Syndrome

Finally, finally, it's almost Thanksgiving – it feels like the "holiday season" started a month ago! The Christmas musak and red ribbons seem to come too early every year, and it leaves many (most?) of us with a sour attitude. What happened to "the most wonderful time of the year?"

In an effort to keep your inner Scrooge at bay, spend a few minutes forgetting about all the things that you're tired of enduring during the holidays. Make a list of your favorite things about the last month of the year and all its tidings. If you're having a hard time, think back to what you loved about Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever solstice celebration your family observed. Mine's below; feel free to share yours with us in the spirit of attitude improvement!

1. Stuffing. It's one of my favorite foods, and I ciuld make it from a box anytime, but I only really eat it at Thanksgiving time. Then I go all-out. My dad makes one with chorizo (or vegetarian chorizo); I also adore it on Così's thanksgiving sandwich.  

2. Family. Family seems to be a sore point for many at during the holiday season, but I LOVE to spend this time with my extended family. It doesn't hurt that this almost always involves going to New Mexico, where both my parents were born and raised. If you want to see a poignant yet comic exploration of a family NOT coping well with the holidays, go see High Holidays at the the Goodman (like how I threw a theater review in there, Chicago?).

3. Picking out gifts. I won't be modest here: I am a fabulous gift picker. It helps to be super observant and have a great memory. If picking out gifts is tougher for you, don't just ask loved ones what they want; spend a little time with them and listen for clues or put yourself in their shoes during a shopping spree. 

4. Home Alone. Some people watch It's a Wonderful Life. Some people watch A Christmas Story. My holiday movie is Home Alone. For me, no December would be complete without it. 

5. Christmas carols. This final list item requires a caveat: I'm not talking about "holiday songs," or "Christmas music" here. Honest-to-God carols, however, are a joy to me. Especially if I'm singing them. My favorites are "In the Bleak Midwinter," "Lo How a Rose Eer Blooming," "I Wonder as I wander," and "The Holly and the Ivy." 

So, ladies…what've you got?

First Time Hostess: How to get YOU ready for your party

Much is written about party planning from a standpoint of what food to serve and how to decorate.  It takes a lot of preparation and in all that prep, you might for get an key element - YOU! 

So how to make sure that you are ready for your party?  Follow this guide....

One week before:
Decide what you're going to wear
Get a hair cut and color, if it's time for that

Day before:
Get a manicure, or at the very least, make sure your nails are free from chipped polish.  That includes toes, if you plan to wear open-toed shoes!

Day of:
Do any dirty work early in the day. 
Take a shower several hours before start time.  If you wash your hair, make sure it's thoroughly dried. 
An hour before the event, STOP what you are doing and fix your hair and makeup.  Push that back to an hour and a half if your routine is a lengthy process.

You should be dressed and ready no less than a half-hour before the event starts.  When a guest enters your place they should see:
You, looking hot and radiating charm
Your place, clean and with the proper lighting (dim lights and candles always means "party!")
Music playing

It's ok if:
You are putting finishing touches on food and drinks, as long as you maintain an air of calm

It's not ok if:
The place isn't clean
YOU aren't clean
You're stressed out, and showing it
You're in a tiff with your co-host/ess (suck it up, buttercup)

Parties are light, fun occasions and as the hostess, you set the tone.  Think about how you want your guests to feel, and act accordingly!  For more party planning tips, visit SecondCitySoiree.com

The Big Apartment Clean-Up: A Gals’ Guide to Putting Order Back in Your Life

So, where have I been?

With the Big Baby Day looming in mid-January, I’ve been spending my nights organizing every corner of my condo. I can’t express how tired and elated I feel at the same time. There are things that me and the hubby should have done back when we were married, but never got around to doing.

I’ve always been a lover of organization and using/keeping only those items that I needed. Blame it on living in France temporarily and seeing the beauty of efficient spaces or blame it on this great Oprah special on how the Danish live. Bottom line, I think we can easily get caught up in ‘stuff’. If you are interested in seeing what I changed up and how less cluttered my live feels, keep on reading!

Click to read more ...

Facebook, just let it go. We have.

Facebook recently added something to their suggestions box on the righthand side of the page: "Reconnect with xxxxxx"

Stop! Do NOT click and reconnect with that person who has fallen out of your life. It's perfectly ok to lose touch with people from our (not-so distant) past. In fact, there's probably a very good reason you don't talk to them anymore. Either you actually talk in person, on the phone or through email or they just don't make the cut anymore. It's not that you actively stop liking them, but other people are just more important to you. And you know what? That's ok.

I know I really don't care about reconnecting with most of my friends from high school. We've all moved on, made new friends and will briefly catch up at reunions, just like people have done for hundreds of years.

So sorry, college biology lab partner, next door neighbor from childhood and 8th grade youth group crush. It's not you. It's me.